In March, we thought it would last a few weeks, like the time we couldn't visit Nana because there was a flu outbreak in the nursing home last year. But this time was different. Weeks turned into months and now it's been 5 months since I've seen Nana in person in her room. I have seen Nana but it's not the same.
I give the Watsontown Nursing and Rehab facility credit for doing their best to keep residents connected with their families. In June, they created an outside booth with plexiglass so families could see their loved ones at a distance. When they announced this option, I jumped at the chance to see Nana in the flesh. Time slots were limited and the only appointment we could get was Saturday, June 13th at 1:30pm for a 20 minute visit. We drove 8 and a half hours on Friday and waited nervously for the appointment.
When the volunteer wheeled Nana out the door, it was so good to actually see her. I had prepared myself for her wild hair style as the hairdresser hasn't been allowed in the facility for months. I wasn't prepared for how tired and exhausted she looked. Communicating through a plexiglass booth - that Jan accurately dubbed the 'Pope Mobile' - while wearing masks made normal conversation impossible. Even if Nana had good hearing - which she doesn't - it would've been a challenge.
We were fortunate to have Brenda as our kind and patient volunteer. She first asked Nana if she knew who we were. It took her a minute but she did say, 'Diane and Jan.' That was a relief. To be fair, with our masks we probably looked more like bank robbers than our normal selves.
Nana was truly exhausted. Her eyes kept closing and her head drooped as she struggled to stay awake. She did complain several times about it being windy. Nana hates wind. (We anticipated that reaction when we'd seen the weather.) She was distracted by the cars driving by on Eighth Street. She thought they were from Pumpkin Center, the housing unit across from Houston Ridge apartments in Montgomery where she used to live.
The best reaction we saw from her was when I held up the huge jar of M & M's we brought for her. It was truly the only smile of the visit. She joked about how we should count how many M & M's were in the jar. That gave us some smiles!
But after that, she seemed agitated and fatigued. Our 20 minute visit was barely 15 minutes. Am I sorry we drove over 16 hours for a 15 minute visit? No, I'm not. Maybe I needed the visit for me more than for her. There's nothing like seeing her right in front of me. The difficult part was having her so close and not being able to hug and kiss her. Not being able to stroke her arm and speak close to her ear so she can hear me say, 'I love you.'
Nana & Brenda the Volunteer
June 2020
Nana seeing the big jar of M&M's
Since that visit, I've been doing more Zoom meetings with her. It took several tries to know the best way to communicate is to have Nana on her volume boosted phone while I talk to her on my cell phone. (She can't hear me at all on the I-Pad volume.) I do get more smiles from her during our Zoom calls and there's the added bonus of having the Activities helper check to make sure she has M&M's, KitKats, Sprite and Weis Tissues.
Nana and I on Zoom July 2020
When we're not Zooming together, I call Nana every day. The hearing in her left ear is almost non-existent, so I have to have her 'switch ears' so she can hear me better. Some days are better than others. Some days she doesn't want to talk. Some days she sings to me. Some days she reads the paper to me. Some days her answers indicate she still doesn't hear what I say. I always ask her how she feels and she normally says , "OK, just lazy." I always tell her it's ok to be lazy at 96, almost 97. She always asks me what I'm doing. I usually check her daily weather for her while we're on the phone. Then we have the conversation about Mother Nature being in charge. As Nana says, "Mother Nature is the boss!" When I tell her I love her, she always says she loves me too and that I'm such a good girl. My heart melts.
Fortunately, as of now, Watsontown Nursing Home doesn't have any cases of the Covid-19 virus. I pray it stays that way. As much as I want to see and talk to Nana in person, I don't want her to get this horrible virus. She deserves to be safe and comfortable and 'lazy.' Until the danger is over, I'll keep Zooming and calling and doing whatever it takes to stay connected with Nana.
