Happy Heavenly Birthday Nana

 

“The time will come when their memory will bring a smile to your lips before a tear to your eye.” Joe Biden

I love this quote and I can finally relate this to Nana. This week on September 15^th, Nana would’ve celebrated her 101^st Birthday. I thought she’d live to be at least 100. She made it to 97. Still an amazing accomplishment for a woman who survived so much. A National Depression, World War II, an alcoholic husband, four kids, a brutal factory job, a divorce and independent living until almost 95.

Memories of Nana now bring me smiles almost daily. This summer when I made Nana’s strawberry jam recipe, the sweet smell of the bubbling strawberries made me feel her presence. I remembered when she was beside me, stirring the hot berries while I added the multiple cups of sugar. I could almost hear her say, “Don’t pour the sugar in too fast—it’ll burn.” In my mind, I could picture her in her red print apron, spooning a ladle of the scalding jam into a little glass ‘tester dish.’ The tester was to make sure the batch had jelled properly. Although, I think the dish might have been an excuse for both of us to taste the sweet sticky results. And now when I make her recipe, I always have a tester dish, and smile as I lick a spoonful of my shiny, perfectly jelled jam.

Nana's red print apron and strawberry jam from Nana's Recipe

Reminders of Nana are everywhere. I recently saw a little old lady in a tan colored car driving slowly down the street. You could barely see her head above the steering wheel. I smiled and remembered Nana driving her beige 2002 Chevy Cavalier on her way to the Weis grocery store a few miles from her apartment. Her thick seat cushion raised her barely five-foot frame just enough for her to see out the windshield.

Nana loved her car and she loved to drive. But she frequently complained about all the old people driving on the road. I smile at the thought of her saying this and love that Nana never saw herself as old. She drove until she was 91 and dearly missed her car for the rest of her life.

 Nana with her 2002  Chevy Cavalier 

Memories of Nana occur when I least expect them. One day, while looking for something, I came across Nana’s lavender nightgown. When I was sorting Nana’s clothes after she passed, I found the nightgown and decided to keep it.  It was one I’d bought for her and she looked so lovely in it. Her snowy white hair complimented the delicate purple flowered fabric that draped softly over her tiny body.

Nana loved getting ready for bed early. As soon as she saw her local 6 o’clock news and watched some of NBC Nightly News with Lester Holt, she headed to her bedroom to change into her nightgown. She had a schedule to keep. She had to be back in her comfy blue chair by 7pm to watch Wheel of Fortune.

The lavender nightgown brings one of my fondest memories of Nana. During my monthly visits, she allowed me to help her put it on her. Nana had a bad right shoulder and it was painful for her to lift that arm into the sleeve. I sat beside her at the edge of her bed and helped her so she didn’t have to hurt. Then I’d lightly put my arm around her and kiss her delicate soft cheek. That memory brings me to tears.

Nana in her beautiful lavender nightgown

Not just on Nana’s birthday, but every day, I remember her and memories of her make me smile. Yes, tears come sometimes too, but now I usually smile first.

Happy Heavenly Birthday Nana.

Missing One of Nana's Girls

 

February 17^th marks three years since Sharon left us to become an Angel in Heaven. I’m sure Nana was there to greet her. The only blessing for me on that day was Nana had gone to Heaven first. For Nana, losing one of her girls would’ve broken her heart. Nana loved her two boys, but there was always a special connection between Nana and Sharon and me.

During the 1970’s, before Sharon had children, Saturdays were shopping days for Nana and Sharon and me. One of our favorite places was going to the Nittany Mall in State College, Pennsylvania. Nana still worked at the Montgomery Mills Factory, making barely $3 an hour. Sharon and I both had full time jobs. But if there was a coat I wanted and I didn’t have the money, it was Nana who helped me pay for it. If Sharon saw a sweater out of her budget, Nana stepped in so she could have it. Even with her low income, Nana was frugal and always made sure she had money to shop with us. Although Nana bought some things for herself, I remember her greatest joy was being the one to make sure we could have what we wanted.

While we were growing up, Nana wasn’t able to give us extras. Sharon and I got a lot of our clothes as donations from well-to-do relatives of my Aunt Elizabeth, Nana’s sister. Opening up the big black garbage bag of hand-me-downs with dresses and blouses and skirts was like a shopping spree. Nana was grateful for the generosity, but it hurt her to take charity. She was doing the best she could feeding four kids on a factory job while my dad used his money for trips to the local bar.

When Nana got divorced and tackled life on her own, she knew she wasn’t totally alone. Not only her girls, but her boys, supported her through car breakdowns, house repairs and unemployment.

In 1993, Sharon and I encouraged Nana to sell her house and move into a second floor, one bedroom apartment outside Montgomery. Nana loved her new home, especially the cozy balcony overlooking corn fields lined with lush trees.

In 1999, we helped Nana make a trip to Austin, Texas for her granddaughter Shelly’s wedding. Nana was returning there for the first time since 1943, when she lived there while Daddy was stationed with the Army at Camp Swift. It thrilled Sharon and I to see Nana visit the places she remembered—the address of the boarding house where she lived (which was now an office building), the grounds of the State Capitol with all its statues, and, most of all, the fields of Texas Blue Bonnets, her favorite flower.  

Diane and Nana and Sharon Austin Texas March 1999

In 2010, at age 86, Nana faced a flurry of health problems. She had four hospitalizations and three back surgeries in one year. Sharon and I were with her as she fought her way back to be home and independent. While in the hospital, she was always anxious for our visits. When we arrived, the nurses would tell us Nana kept saying, “Where are my girls?”

As Nana’s girls, Sharon and I made a pact to keep Nana in her beloved apartment as long as possible. Between us, we coordinated her doctor’s visits, her medications, her supplements and her meals. Nana loved to go and we made sure she got to go out to eat as much as possible. Sharon and I took her to Wendy’s, May’s Drive-In in Hughesville, and for her favorite fish sandwiches at The Fence in Lewisburg. Between my visits to Pennsylvania, Sharon and Nana often did drive-through meals. Something Sharon called car picnics. Nana loved it.

Nana having a car picnic 2016

Nana loved all three of us being together, but she also didn’t mind when Sharon and I got some alone time as sisters. Because we lived at a distance from each other, in-person times for Sharon and I were a special treat for me. It might just be riding along with her to take one of her kitties to the vet. Or sometimes we took a quick trip to the local Tastee-Freeze for an ice cream cone. During those times, we talked constantly. There’s something about a bond with a sister that transcends distance and time.

Even when Nana had to go into Watsontown Nursing Home in 2018, Sharon and I made sure she always had her snacks. M&M’s, KitKats and Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups. We arranged for her to have her hair washed and set each week, so she felt loved and pretty. Sharon took charge of her laundry and visited almost every day. I called Nana every day and visited several days each month. Nana knew ‘her girls’ were taking care of her.

Diane and Sharon at Watsontown Nursing Home November 2019

When Nana went to Heaven, I remember Sharon and I standing by her casket. I said to Sharon, “We took really good care of Nana.”

She agreed, “Yes we did.”

Because that’s what Nana’s girls did for her.

I hope now Sharon is reunited with Nana in Heaven. I miss them both every day.

Someday Nana and her girls will all be together again, but until then, I’ll savor our special memories together.

Sharon and Nana and Diane February 2020
The last time we were all together in person