Mother's Day, The Mishap, Muncy, The Meadows and Moving Back Home

2015 was a challenging year for Nana and for all of us who love her. The beginning of the year saw Nana in her normal routine  - enjoying her Sun Gazette, driving to the Weis Store and Dollar General, and watching her game shows. Not bad for a 91 year old lady.

I celebrated Mother's Day with Nana a week before the actual celebration date. We went to The Fence where she enjoyed her first fish sandwich of the season.  I remember thinking to myself, "Nana is  doing really well."

Nana at The Fence May 2015

On Mother's Day, Bill took Nana to Elizabeth's house for dinner and took this great picture. Nana truly looked wonderful!

Nana Mother's Day at Elizabeth's May 2015

The day after Mother's Day, May 11, I was in Tampa Florida ready to board a cruise ship for a 5 day cruise. I talked to Nana about 9:15 in the morning - our normal AM call. She sounded tired and I reminded her the repairman was coming that day to fix her air conditioning unit. Although it was only mid-May, the temperatures had been in the 80's and Nana was struggling to stay cool. About a half hour later, I got a call from Sharon. "You're not going to want to hear this."

When the repairman rang Nana's doorbell, she rushed to get up from her kitchen table. She caught her ankle between the chair leg and the table leg and crashed to the floor on her right side. The repairman immediately went up to check on her. Nana wanted him to help her up, but he was a wise man who knew he needed to call 911.

Fast forward to the emergency room and the diagnosis: Nana had broken her hip and pelvis and would need surgery. I was on the phone with Sharon, keeping updated on what was happening. When the orthopedic surgeon decided she was healthy enough for surgery, I was ready to get in the car and head to PA. All my siblings, however, wanted me to go on the cruise. I was so torn.  Even if I'd left that minute, I would never have been able to get back in time to be with her for the surgery. While I lamented, Sharon handed the phone to Nana as she lay in bed in the ER.
Nana said, "Diane, get on the boat!"
Reluctantly, I headed for the ship, but I knew I had to find a way to keep in touch.

I purchased a ship wi-fi package so I could do Facebook. Thanks to Jeff, Sharon got hooked up to Facebook Chat so we could communicate while on the ship. I was stressed, waiting for Nana to come out of surgery. Nana, the fighter that she is, came through better than any of us thought she would. I'll never forget getting the message from Sharon that Nana was OK. I was sitting at the ship's dining table and as I gave Jan the good news, I cried - tears of joy. There's always risks with any surgery, but with a 91 year old with osteoporosis - that's a big risk. After saying a silent prayer of thanks, I relaxed a little for the first time since I got Sharon's call.

Later that evening, I received a picture of Nana and Sharon after surgery. Although grateful, my heart broke that I wasn't there. But I knew Nana would be OK. Sharon is great in a crisis and Nana also had Jeff and Lori and Bill and Wayne and all their families.

I was on Facebook Chat most of the cruise, keeping in touch. Jeff even sent me an audio and a video from Nana and I was able to figure out how to send one back. That was priceless. On Thursday, Jeff sent a picture of Nana's ankle. "Does it always look this crooked?" I immediately knew something was wrong. Her ankle was twisted at a freakish angle. As it turns out, when they put her on her feet for therapy, she screamed in pain.  No wonder. She had a broken ankle. Her second surgery was scheduled for Sunday.

We left the ship on Saturday morning and made the 13 hour drive to Richmond. At 11pm, we finally got home and I immediately started packing again. After only a few hours sleep, I drove six hours to PA. It was the longest drive I've ever made in the sixteen years since I moved away. Exhausted and worried, I had to take tiny naps at the rest stops just to keep going.

When I got to the hospital, I saw Nana with her right foot bandaged as big as a stove pipe. To make matters worse, she was not allowed to put any weight on that foot while the four pins, inserted on the outside of her ankle under the bandage, were allowed to heal. An estimated six to eight weeks.

During the next few days, Nana said she couldn't swallow. After doing all kinds of tests, the diagnosis was a severe case of thrush. It was in her mouth, under her tongue and all down her throat. She couldn't eat and the pain caused her to cry a lot. I felt so bad for her and so helpless, especially when they said the treatment could take 10-14 days to help.

By Tuesday, The Williamsport Hospital was ready to ship Nana to Muncy Skilled Nursing for rehab. When the social worker told me Nana would have a private room because of her ESBL, I was stunned. What? Turns out, during one of Nana's previous hospital visits, she contracted ESBL, an abbreviation for a long name of some  kind of super bug. It's detected in her urine and although there was no infection and the bug was dormant, she had to be in a private room because of the possibility of being contagious. I was happy she had a private room but not happy she had some super bug that she could never get rid of. Thanks to a hospital stay.

Nana had a transport to Muncy Valley Skilled Nursing and I met her there to get her settled in. With the thrush so severe, she couldn't wear her false teeth. Her meals had to be pureed but she couldn't stand to eat because of the pain. Add to that the pain from the broken ankle, the pins in her hip and a broken pelvis that had to heal on it's own. A stronger, younger person would have been tempted to throw in the towel at that point.

But somehow Nana persevered. Through the long healing of thrush, through a urinary tract infection that woke up the ESBL (everyone had to wear yellow gowns to see her), through long painful sessions of physical and occupational therapy, through eight weeks of bedpans and Hoya lifts, and through daily pureed food. Nana persevered through it all.

Nana at Muncy Skilled Nursing Summer 2015

By the end of August, Nana was coming to the limit of her 100 days of Medicare. That meant a decision. It reminded me of the lyrics of an old song, "You don't have to go home, but you can't stay here." Nana wasn't strong enough to go home. She wasn't helpless enough to make Muncy her permanent residence. What to do? The options didn't fit. Live with a family member - no one in our family had the space or the ability for full time care. Have 24/7 care in her apartment - no money for that and it would violate the rules of her apartment complex. The last option was Assisted Living. Thanks to Sharon and some available funds in Nana's checking account, we decided we could do The Meadows for 30 days and hope Nana would be strong enough after that time to go home again. A big plus was that Aunt Dorothy was already living there. In fact, Nana got a room next door to Aunt Dorothy, who graciously offered to move from her regular dining table to eat with Nana during her stay.

On Thursday, August 27, I picked Nana up at Muncy. There were tearful good-by's. During those 100 days, she bonded with many of the staff. It was especially hard for her to leave Matt, one of the aides. With his tousled, brown curly hair and soft voice, he won Nana's heart. Crystal, one of Nana and I's favorite RN's, helped her from the wheel chair into my car. I know Nana was afraid of what lay ahead. I was too.

The Meadows August 27, 2015

I left on Saturday, nervous about Nana making another adjustment. She'd already been through so much since her fall. But Nana has always amazed me with her resilience. She needed all that resilience and more. Sunday morning she fell out of her bed. Unlike the nursing home, there was no nurse practitioners or doctors on staff. Sharon had to take her to get treatment. Nana had a cut on her arm and, as it turned out, a broken thumb. Somehow she slid out of the bed, which was higher than what she was used to. After the fall, the staff found her a lower bed.

Even after the fall, the transition from full care to limited care was a challenge. Nana had to learn to use her walker for longer periods of time to hobble down to the dining room, a distance of several city blocks from her room. But each day she went further and further with the walker and used the wheel chair less and less.

When Jan and I went to visit her a few weeks later, we celebrated her 92nd birthday with cupcakes and anticipation of her date to go home - Saturday, September 26. This time there were no other options. At $100 per day, there weren't any funds for a longer stay. I prayed Nana was strong enough to make it on her own.

Nana's 92nd Birthday at The Meadows September 15, 2015

During Nana's stay in Muncy and The Meadows, I made multiple requests of her apartment complex maintenance staff. First to fix the air conditioner that started this journey. Second to repair her electric stair chair that had stopped working in her long absence. Thankfully, the maintenance department responded. By the time Nana was due to come home she had a new air conditioner - the other couldn't be fixed - and a new electric stair chair - the old one couldn't be resurrected. I was extremely grateful for both of these updates.

The first stop on our way home from The Meadows was KFC. Nana loves the chicken, mashed potatoes and baked beans.

  Nana at KFC September 26, 2015

I stayed with Nana the first five days she was home. Even though she'd lived in her apartment for over 20 years, it was almost like she was experiencing it for the first time. Albeit, there were some differences. Thanks to Sharon and Bill and I, there's now a clear path for Nana's walker in her bedroom and in the living room. Nana kept saying, "I can't believe I'm really home."

During my stay, we devised a way for her to make breakfast and get her coffee to the table while still using the walker. I stressed that the light in the bathroom had to be on 24/7. Before her fall, Nana liked darkness to sleep but that wasn't an option now. We wanted no more falls.

After her arrival home, nighttime frightened me the most. I lay very still on the daybed in the living room, listening for any sounds that would indicate Nana needed help. I learned that her loud sighs, and sometimes even talking in her sleep, were normal. When I heard her walker clunking to the bathroom, I held my breath. I so wanted to get up and help her but I knew she had to try this on her own. I would be going home and she had to conquer this task independently. To my surprise, she did every middle-of-the night bathroom trip on her own.

During her stays in Williamsport Hospital, Muncy Skilled Nursing and The Meadows, I traveled the six hours from Virginia to visit Nana every two weeks. With her back home, it was time to go back to my monthly visits. Could she do this on her own with some help? I was praying she could.

Since she's gotten home, Nana has stepped up her game, working hard to live alone again. She makes her own breakfast, has accepted Meals on Wheels, and allowed us to hire Cindy, a capable and kind in-home care-giver who spends five to six hours a week helping Nana -  which helps all of us.

Since September, it hasn't been all smooth sailing. There have been several falls, thankfully no broken bones. And keeping Nana in her home truly takes a village. In addition to Cindy's time and my monthly trips, Sharon is there for Nana almost every day and sometimes several times a day. Bill and Marcia help with meals and visits and being on call for immediate help. Wayne comes by with items from the Weis store and brings deviled eggs made by Sharon G. Nana loves those deviled eggs! Lori and Nate and Ollie and Sid provide regular phone calls, lots of mail and frequent visits. Jeff keeps Nana updated on all weather activity and recently submitted her application for fuel assistance. We are also blessed that Nana has her neighbor Chuck, who faithfully delivers her Sun Gazette to her door every morning and gets her mail every afternoon. He's a gem.
At Christmas this year, Nana was blessed with lots of visits with family and outings to Wendy's and KFC, her favorite restaurants.

Christmas Day at Bills 2015

Nana and I Christmas Day 2015

 Nana and Sharon and Ollie and Sid after KFC

 Nana with Sharon and Ron and Lori and Nate and Ollie and Sid at Wendy's

 Five Generations - Nana and Wayne and Mike and Michael and Anna and Ava

 When I checked Nana into Muncy Skilled Nursing unit in May, I couldn't have predicted we'd be celebrating Christmas with her back in her apartment. On that day, the prognosis by the medical staff was not encouraging. Most 91 year old patients who have a serious fall like Nana's plunge into a downward spiral that often leads to degeneration or death in six months or less. When I heard that statistic, I refused to believe this would happen to Nana. She's been through tougher times. Nana fought through a poverty-ridden childhood with an alcoholic and abusive father. At nineteen, she endured the stress of being a soldier's wife in World War II.  In her marriage, she dealt with more poverty, an alcoholic husband, and raising four kids practically by herself. After us kids were on our own, she began living alone for the first time in her life, while still slaving in a  low-paying factory job to make ends meet.

Life got better when she became Nana to Lori, then Jeff, spending her hours doing the best job she could. In addition to caring for Lori and Jeff, she burned papers, made the sweetest ice tea, and hung out with a menagerie of pets that ranged from an African Grey named Frosty to a bunny named Thumper. When she finally retired, she loved her apartment, her car and her freedom to be independent.

As 2015 ends, she no longer drives, her memory has suffered, and her arthritic hands are too shaky to write checks. But, she's back in her own apartment, tooling around in her walker with the cool basket that Sharon attached to carry her cookies and snacks. Everyday, she reads the Sun Gazette, watches Price is Right, Channel 16 News, and her evening line up of Wheel of Fortune and Jeopardy. Not bad for a 92 year old lady.

Yes, 2015 was a challenging year for Nana. But Nana met her challenges with fight and determination and defied all the odds. I think 2016 is going to be a good year.  

Nana Christmas 2014

Although Nana professes to not like holidays, Christmas 2014 turned out well for Nana. An early Christmas visit from Lori and Nate and Ollie and Sid kicked off her Holiday celebration. As a result of multiple trips to Dollar General, Nana is always prepared with coloring books and crayons for the boys whenever they come to visit.

 

                                                       Nana and Ollie and Sid
Christmas dinner at Bill and Marcia's house pleased Nana. Marcia's delicious dinners are a treat anytime, but the Christmas ham and sweet potatoes were a hit. Although Nana eats very little at a sitting, she gets hungry again in a few hours. The leftovers were a gift that kept on giving.

Nana's Christmas is never a one day affair. With visits from Wayne, Jeff, Sharon and Jan and I, Nana's Christmas week was full of gifts and gobs of photos. Nana appreciates all her gifts and loves that everyone chooses useful gifts, not stuff that 'just sits around and collects dust' as she says. So gift certificates to Weis and Dollar General, and the Sun Gazette subscription always top Nana's Christmas wish list. This year did not disappoint.

Nana and her gifts

Nana and Sharon and Diane

The only fly in the ointment this Christmas was Nana fretting about her Christmas cards. No sooner was Thanksgiving over than Nana was worrying how she would get all her Christmas cards addressed and sent. With severe arthritis in her fingers, writing has become a difficult chore for Nana. Although I addressed a few cards for her the first week of December, our daily conversations always included her concerns on how to finish her Christmas cards. Mid-December, Sharon and Lori and I joined forces to order a picture Holiday card for Nana. No writing required. The picture we chose was of Nana at Wendy's, one of her favorite places to eat. Although getting the new cards helped, everyday Nana still mused over who she'd sent cards to, who Sharon and Lori had sent cards to and who still needed cards. She said, "I might get this all done by Easter." If anyone reading this did not receive a picture Christmas card from Nana, just let us know as we still have some available. Even if it's Easter!

Nana's Holiday Day card 2014

All in all, I think Nana would agree it was a good Christmas. For me, the greatest gift was getting to share Nana's 91st Christmas with her and looking forward to many more. We love you, Nana:-)

Nana 91st Birthday - Part 2

The older you get, the more you get to celebrate. That's my theory. On Monday, September 15, 2014, Sharon helped Nana further celebrate her birthday by bringing refreshments to the Community Room in Houston Ridge Apartment Complex.

There was cookies, pretzels, chips and cold drinks for all. This was a generous way for Sharon to thank the neighbors. Nana's neighbors are wonderful. For her birthday, Chuck got signatures from almost all the residents on a birthday card for Nana. Chuck, Bud, Fay and others check on her and provide social contact without Nana having to leave the parking lot. 

Below is a picture of Nana with Chuck, Bud and some of her other neighbors. How lucky is Nana!

                                  Nana with her neighbors in the Community Room

                                                            September 15, 2014

Nana's 91st Birthday September 2014

Nana just celebrated her 91st birthday! She was born Saturday, September 15, 1923.

She shares her birthday year with one of her favorite celebrities - Bob Barker. He was the long-time host of Price is Right until his retirement a few years ago. Like Nana, he is still going strong.  

Getting to be 91 would be an accomplishment for anyone but after the difficult life Nana experienced, it's even more cause for celebration.  A childhood of extreme poverty with a drunken father and bed-ridden mother led to her adult life, where she worked too hard - at home and at her factory job. Despite all her struggles, she managed to raise four pretty decent kids. Not an alcoholic or drug addict among us. That's a testimony to Nana's discipline and devotion to her family.

     "I'm lucky I survived." Nana said when I complimented her on her longevity.
     "Why do you say that?" I asked.
     "When I was just a little girl, I remember seeing Daddy head outside with a small bundle - a baby Mom miscarried."
     "Did he bury it?" I asked. She'd never mentioned this to me before.
     "No, he threw it down the hole in the old out house."

I shudder at the image of that treatment for a poor baby who never made it to it's first breath. But in the 1920's, especially for families as poor as Nana's, babies were born - and died - at home. 

Today, Nana's life is filled with her family, game shows, and keeping up with the daily news. She has a zest for life that many half her age don't possess. The fact that she still lives independently, even drives a little, is something many seniors would envy. 

I celebrate having Nana in my life, not just on her birthday, but every day. 

                                      Nana 91st Birthday
                                       September 2014
 

Nana and Her News

Nana is all about News and Weather. She starts her day by riding her stair chair to the bottom of the steps to snatch the Williamsport Sun Gazette from her door handle. Thanks to neighbor Chuck, her first news of the day is available without even walking outside. 

The Sun Gazette waits on her footstool while she watches WNEP Channel 16 for a replay of the early morning news and weather show. Most days, Joe Snedeker delivers the weather in his clownish style. Nana’s not crazy about him, but suffers through his broadcast to know the weather for the day and week ahead.

Nana saves the Sun Gazette until after breakfast. When I call at 9am, she’s usually just settling into her velvet blue rocker to read. The first thing she does is check the back page for the local weather map. Especially if it’s close to time for my monthly visit, she likes to make sure I know the weather for decisions about packing my clothes.

Nana has another use for the daily newspaper.

                                                                                    
“You know what they say. The newspaper is the best way to make sure you know what day it is.” She laughs about this often on our morning phone call.
 

When you’re retired like Nana, weekdays do tend to all be alike.

The next news update comes at noon, immediately following The Price is Right. Again the choice is WNEP. Marisa Burke delivers the news while Tom Clark reports on the weather. Both have been with Channel 16 for decades and feel like old friends to Nana.

After 1:30pm, Nana makes her daily trip to the Weis Store in Montgomery to get a copy of the Standard Journal. This small paper covers the news ‘down the line’—the towns of Watsontown, Milton and Lewisburg. Nana especially likes to read the Police Blotter to find out if she knows anyone who’s in trouble with the law.

Nana stays up to date all day. At 4pm, WNEP is back on the air with local news and weather—and at 5pm and at 6pm. At 6:30pm Nana likes to watch World News with Brian Williams. It means changing to Channel 28, but Nana only likes Brian—she’s on a first name basis with him it seems— to deliver her World News.

Bedtime for Nana is never before 10:20pm. At 10pm, Nana switches to Channel 16-2 for the Ten o’clock news. She especially likes when Kurt Aaron is giving the weather. As she reminds me, Kurt is a local boy from Hughesville, although this ‘boy’ is probably in his 40’s now. 

In addition to the SunGazette and Channel 16, Nana keeps up with the weekly papers. She subscribes to The Luminary, another small town paper— this one for the Muncy and Montgomery area. During the month, Nana saves the Luminaries for me to take home and read. She used to get me a subscription, but Virginia mail delivery doesn’t appear to make newspapers a priority. Many weeks, my copies were either delivered to a distant neighbor or didn’t arrive at all. I told Nana I was OK getting the news a little late. 

Others papers include the weekly Lycoming Shopper, a free publication with, in my opinion, mostly advertisements. Another free paper, Webb Weekly, arrives by mail on Wednesdays. The founder Jim Webb died a few years ago, but his son Jim Jr. has taken over as editor. Neither of these weeklies interests me, but Nana reads both of them faithfully. 

For someone who’s almost 91, Nana’s desire to stay informed and up-to-date is proof of her continued zest for life.

I appreciate Nana’s interest in the news and weather. Even though I live over 300 miles away, her daily updates keep me feeling connected to her and to my hometown.

Thank You Nana for being all about News and Weather!

Nana and her Sun Gazette
August 2014

Nana's Neighborhood

Nana lives in Houston Ridge, a senior apartment complex. She’s moved there March 1993 after selling her home on Melvina Street in Montgomery, PA. After decades of home ownership, Nana was ready to give up the headaches. Like evicting a swarm of angry bees that bored into her bedroom walls. Like plumbing problems and having to replace a rotting roof. Like teenage neighbors who terrorized her with threatening phone calls during late night hours. Us four kids were ready too—to not have to mow her grass, shovel her snow and trim her lilac bushes. 

Downsizing wasn’t fun for Nana. It was a challenge to clean out a two story, two bedroom house with an attic to fit into a small one bedroom apartment. Leaving behind her washing machine was Nana’s biggest regret. She still misses her GE Washing Machine with the mini-basket for small loads. Converting to coin-operated laundry facilities used by all the other residents didn’t sit well with Nana. 

Even with the loss of her precious washing machine, the advantages of senior apartment living couldn’t be denied. A giant dumpster for trash was just steps away from her door. No more smelly garbage cans and monthly bills for garbage collection. The view from her balcony created a post card worthy vista. Fields with rows of corn or soybeans and the Pennsylvania Mountains—lush green in the summer and crimson in the fall. Much better than neighbor kids ripping through her grass on bikes and unleashed dogs making her back yard a bathroom. 

As with any neighborhood, Nana’s had some good neighbors and some not so good. The good ones linger in our memory while the not-so-good ones faded away. For most of the last twenty one years, Nana’s downstairs neighbor was Hazel. Over the years, Nana and Hazel had their spats. However, in the later years, they seemed to realize the value of their friendship. Hazel and Nana both celebrated birthdays in September. Hazel was nine years older than Nana and enjoyed the luxury of living on her own with the help of her three daughters. When the ambulance came last May after Hazel experienced a fall, it was the last time we saw her. At 98, she went to live in a local nursing home. In June this year, Hazel died at the age of 99, just three months shy of her 100^th birthday. A good neighbor and a sweet lady Nana and I won’t forget. 

One of Nana’s current neighbors is Chuck. A widower, Chuck’s constant companion is his little dog Griz who accompanies him wherever he goes, whether to the mailboxes or in Chuck’s truck to go to the store. For many years, Chuck has delivered Nana’s morning paper to her door every morning. He does this service free of charge for Nana and a few others who would have trouble walking out to the paper boxes early in the morning. Chuck’s a veteran who also used to work in home health care. Maybe that’s why he’s so compassionate and kind, but he’s also fun. He teases Nana all the time about taking her square dancing on a Saturday night. 

Nana lives alone but I know in her neighborhood she’s not really alone. Chuck makes sure her paper is picked up each morning and, if not, he has phone numbers for all her kids. Many other neighbors, like Bud, Haley, Fay, Ruth and Kathy, always inquire about Nana during my visits. I know if she needed help, any of them would be there for her.  

When Nana was in a nursing home for six weeks last year, she asked every day, “When can I go home?” Returning to her senior apartment last September, Nana knew she wasn’t just returning to her neighborhood, she was truly going home.   

Melvina Street, Winter 1978

Melvina Street, Fall 1989

Nana at Houston Ridge, Spring 2013

Nana and Chuck, September 2013

Chuck and Griz, June 2014