Nana Celebrates Birthday #95

Nana celebrated her 95th birthday on September 15th,2018. This year she couldn't celebrate at home. In July, Nana moved into Watsontown Nursing & Rehab Center. Nana's little legs no longer have the strength for her to use the walker. Plus, she needed more care than she could receive in her Houston Ridge Apartment, a place she'd called home for 25 years. 

Change is never easy and the first few weeks at the nursing home were difficult. Things are better now and Nana has her good days and bad days. Nana has faced a lot of hardships in her life so I know she'll adjust. She's one of the strongest people I know and I'm so proud of her.

Nana has a roommate, Ruth, who is a kind lady. We thought Nana's hearing was poor, but Ruth can hardly hear unless you speak directly into her ear. That's a plus in a way, as Nana likes to play her TV loud. Ruth doesn't have a TV and fills her time with mystery novels and puzzle books while Nana's favorite past-time is still reading the Sun Gazette.

Although we as a family would love her to be in her home, it's comforting to know that she's safe and has lots of 'eyes' on her. Like at home, her meals are a challenge. The Nursing Home has accommodated with mashed potatoes and gravy each meal and  provides her 'juice boxes' - her Boost Breeze supplement drink -  for her each day. 

Each year Nana's birthday is a reminder of how blessed we are to still have her in our lives. During one of my monthly visits to Nana when she was in her apartment, we would read the quotes on the daily calendar at breakfast. One of our favorites was the saying,"If you're not dead yet, you're not done yet." Nana and I had a giggle about that one. Whenever Nana says she's not having anymore birthdays - as she often does every September - I remind her about that quote.

As we celebrate another Nana birthday, I'm glad she's not done yet. 

Saying Goodbye to Nana's Grand Kitty Mitzi

On Saturday morning, February 24th, 2018, we said goodbye to our sweet kitty Mitzi. She provided us over 16 years of daily joy. Letting go of our beloved Mitzi was one of the hardest things we've ever done. 

The next hardest thing was telling Nana that Mitzi was gone. Nana and Mitzi had a special bond. It started when Nana visited us when we lived in Ruckersville, Virginia. Mitzi joined our household in January 2002 and Nana visited several times a year until we moved to Pittsburgh in 2006.

Mitzi was never a cuddly kitty. She liked her space, as does Nana. Mitzi could tell from the start that Nana wasn't going to mess with her. They had an unspoken understanding between them. Their bond was especially evident in the red wing-back chair. Mitzi loved to sleep in that chair and Nana loved to sit in the chair. The picture below shows how they compromised.

Nana with Mitzi, Ruckersville VA

Although Nana didn't visit Mitzi in person after Virginia, she still kept in touch. During our daily calls, I often put Nana on speaker phone so she could say "hi" to Mitzi while Mitzi rubbed the phone in approval. 

Nana treated Mitzi like all her grandchildren - sending her cards on her birthday and Christmas. As Mitzi and Nana both got older, Nana joked about how they were both 'Seniors.'

During my monthly trips to Pennsylvania, Nana and I talked about how Mitzi knew when I was leaving to see Nana. She pouted when she saw my suitcase. When I got home, she gave me the cold shoulder for a while to punish me for going away. Nana understood Mitzi's reaction - Nana doesn't like when I leave her at the end of my visits. 

Mitzi may be gone from our physical world, but she'll stay in our hearts forever. Goodbye sweet Mitzi, until Jan and I and Nana meet you again in heaven.

 

Nana: 94 and Still Going Strong

On September 15, 2017, Nana celebrated her 94th birthday. Sharon and Lori and I planned a low key celebration at Nana's cozy Houston Ridge apartment. Party time started with a cake made by a local baker - white cake with white frosting - Nana's favorite. Surrounded by close family and her two helpers - Cindy and Christy - Nana handled the hoop-la with smiles and surprising calm. 

Birthdays are a great time to take stock and, for Nana, there's lots of good things to celebrate. First, she's in good health. Her recent check up showed a healthy heart and blood work results all in normal range. Second, she's 94 and still lives independently in her newly renovated apartment - an amazing feat at her age. She watches her game shows, enjoys the daily Sun Gazette and does Word Find puzzles. Most days, Nana and her walker venture out for her mail and on nice sunny days she joins a few neighbors in the gazebo.

We sang Happy Birthday to Nana on her day of celebration. But when it comes to singing, it's usually Nana who is the songstress. During my monthly visits, Nana often breaks into song. As we head out for lunch, she'll be singing "Here we go, into the Wild Blue Yonder." Another favorite is "The Wreck of the Old 97." Just last week, I showed Nana a beautiful rainbow hovering over her apartment complex. This prompted a serenade of "Somewhere Over the Rainbow." Of course, country music is Nana's favorite. I have Sirius Radio and we've found a station called Prime Country. Nana gets to sing along with Vince Gill, Travis Tritt and Loretta Lynn. Our road trips are a country concert!

Nana is proof that age is just a number. In fact, she likes to say that she's only 49. But then she changes her mind. She doesn't want to lose her social security! 😊

Not only on her birthday, but every day, I celebrate having Nana in our lives. 

 

Nana and Cindy

Nana and Christy

Nana and Jan

Nana and Jeff

Nana and Lori and Ollie and Sid

Nana and Missi and Mark and Megan

Nana and Sharon

Nana and Tim and Chris and Diane

Nana and Missi and Wayne

 

Nana and Summers at the Staggert Place

Sixty years ago, in the summer of 1957, Nana and Daddy and all of us four kids moved to the Staggert Place. For the first time, we lived in a house that wasn't a rental. My first memories are from the Bower Place, a ramshackle house we rented on rural government land not far from Grandma and Grandpa Rhones' farm. When we were forced to move from the Bower Place, Daddy and Nana bought a house previously owned by the Staggert family - hence the name the Staggert Place.

When we arrived at the Staggert Place, we loved the lush green yard surrounding the house. Like the Bower Place, the house had no inside bathroom - only an out house - but Daddy did install a toilet during our first few years there. The only drawback was that it was in Billy's bedroom.  We never had a bathtub but that inside toilet was a big step up for our family.

The first few summers at the Staggert Place, I remember Sharon and I sleeping out on the cool upstairs balcony on old blankets while the lightning bugs lit up the night. Most days, Wayne was at Grandma and Grandpa Rhones' farm helping with the fields while Bill spent hours playing in the dirt with his toy trucks. The Staggert Place was next to a busy two lane road but close to Holmes' General Store. A short walk meant easy access to  Hershey's Ice Cream and RC Cola.

I doubt Nana has the same fond memories of those early summers. The Staggert Place came with water problems. When the spring dried up, we had to take heavy milk cans, load them in the car and drive to a local spring to fill them with fresh, clean water. To complicate matters, the drains often became plugged from tree roots from the towering maples that bordered the front porch. This meant Nana not only  had to bring in the water, she also had to carry the water outside to discard it.

Soon after we moved to the Staggert Place, Nana went to work at Montgomery Mills. She left the house early in the morning to catch a ride with other factory workers. About 4 PM, she arrived home to four kids clamoring to know when supper would be ready. Poor Nana. She couldn't seem to fill us up. Even though she made a big supper by 4:30PM - a feat in itself - we were always hungry again by 8 o'clock. That usually meant a trip to Holmes' Store to buy a  Chef Boyardee make-it-yourself box pizza or dragging out the cast aluminum frying pan to fry hamburgers from the freezer  - hamburgers made from the beef we bought from the local farmers.  That old fry pan looked beat up - scratched and  the only remnants of a handle being a metal stick - but boy did it cook the best hamburgers!

As Sharon and I got older, our summer job was to make supper and have it ready by the time Nana got home from work. One day Nana left pork for sauerkraut. We were to cook the pork in the large oval roaster on the stove until the pork was done and add the sauerkraut. We put the pork on the stove with lots of water and went off to do something -  I don't remember what. When we got back to the kitchen, the pork was ruined, burnt to the bottom of the roaster. Putting our heads together, we decided we'd pool our money and  buy more pork and cook it fast so Nana would never know by the time she got home from work. We buried the blackened pork in the bottom of the garbage can, scrubbed the roaster and took off for Holmes' Store for another piece of pork. We thought we were so cleaver. Nana never said anything about supper that night. But somehow, I think she knew....

I found this picture of Nana at the Staggert Place. The picture was taken one December, probably as she was working on the big meals she used to make every Sunday.

  Nana at the Staggert Place working in the kitchen

 The only childhood picture I have of  all us four kids together was taken during summer at the Staggert Place. It's a treasure for all of us and for Nana,too.

Wayne and Sharon and Diane and Bill

Sixty years ago, we were four kids breezing our way through summer at the Staggert Place. Nana was cooking, cleaning, hauling water, and trying to make ends meet to take care of her four kids. Times were tough, but she always did what it took to take care of us. Now it's time for us kids to do whatever it takes to care for Nana.

Nana and her Siblings

A few weeks ago, I saw on Facebook that we were celebrating National Siblings Day. It made me think about Nana and her four siblings - Elizabeth, Grace, John and Ben. Sadly, Nana and her brother Ben are the only surviving siblings. 

The Tilburg Siblings 1940's 

Nana's oldest sibling was her sister Elizabeth. I don't remember anyone ever calling her Elizabeth. Nana called her Lib. I called her Auntie. Although Lib was 13 years older than Nana, they were always close. Growing up at the Staggert Place, I remember Auntie and her husband Luther visiting often. Auntie and Uncle Lukie (as we called Luther) never had any children, but they made all their nieces and nephews feel special. Sharon and I spent many summer and Christmas vacations visiting Auntie's spotless house on Fifth Street in Hughesville. After Uncle Lukie died in 1980, Nana and Auntie spent more time together. Sunday's tradition was to meet in Hughesville for lunch at a local restaurant after both attended their own church. When Auntie died in 1988, it left a big hole in our lives, but for Nana it was especially sad. I know she still misses her.

Nana and Lib 1982

Grace was Nana's other older sister. She was married to Tom and they lived in South Williamsport in a tiny house that Uncle Tom built. The house was perched on the edge of busy Route 15. In 1966, during the summer before my senior year of high school, I spent weekdays staying with Aunt Grace and Uncle Tom while working at Little League Baseball. I stayed in the cozy little bedroom previously occupied by their son Jack, who by then was married and had his own family. Aunt Grace was always kind to me and Uncle Tom was fun. After Uncle Tom died of cancer in 1972, for years Aunt Grace struggled and gradually, Auntie and Nana realized Aunt Grace was not like herself. Eventually Aunt Grace was diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease. Jack made the difficult decision to place her in a nursing home for her own safety. She spent her remaining years confined in a nursing home until she died in 1994. Even though there were times Aunt Grace didn't know who she was, Nana made regular visits to see her. Nana's loyalty to her sister, even in those difficult circumstances, shows Nana's compassion and her character. I admire her so much for what she did for Aunt Grace.

Uncle Tom and Aunt Grace and Jack (Unknown Date)

Nana's oldest brother was John. Uncle John was 3 years older than Nana and her stories about going to Pike's Peak School always involved her and Uncle John wading through the snow banks to get to school. I think the closeness Nana shared with Uncle John was a bond made stronger during World War II.  I've seen pictures of John and Nana with him in uniform. During our childhood, Sharon and I often visited Uncle John and his wife Aunt Dorothy. We enjoyed spending time there with their two daughters, Grace and Gloria, who were our ages. Through the years, Nana never stopped calling herself John's little sister. Even when Uncle John was in his last days in hospice care, Nana took his hand and said, " John, it's your little sister Deanie." I know he heard her. Uncle John passed in May 2012.

Uncle John and Nana WWII

Ben is Nana's youngest sibling. Born in 1930, he's 7 years younger than Nana. Because Uncle Ben stayed behind to help care for Nana's bed-ridden mother, he never left the family home. After my grandmother passed, he worked on a farm owned by one of our relatives. The years of physically hard labor have taken a toll on his health, especially his knees. With limited mobility for both Nana and Uncle Ben, it's hard for them to visit. With hearing issues, even talking on the phone is a challenge. In the past, I've taken Nana to see Uncle Ben and recently Bill brought Uncle Ben to see Nana. She was so happy to see her little brother.

Uncle Ben December 2013

When Nana was growing up, they didn't have Facebook or National Siblings Day. They didn't need it. Everyday was Siblings Day. 

The Tilburg Siblings 1983

Nana: The Girl on the Train - World War II Style

Nana surprised me during my last visit. We were walking through Dollar General and suddenly she asked, "What's this I keep hearing about The Girl on the Train?"
 I said, "Well, it's a book - a thriller actually, about a girl, a train, and a murder. It's also been made into a movie. Why?"
"Well, I was a girl on a train."
"Yes, yes you sure were!" I chuckled to myself, thinking how different Nana was as a girl on a train than Rachel, the character in the book and the movie. I've read the book and I've seen the movie and the train is the only similarity.
While Nana was still writing stories, This is what she wrote about her trip to Austin, Texas on the train:

"I left Williamsport on the Pennsylvania Railroad bound for Austin, Texas with $30 in my pocket.  World War II was in full swing.  I changed trains in St. Louis and boarded the Katy lines.  In the seat across from me were two nice Southern girls.  They said, “Are y’all going plum to Tulsa?”  Not knowing Southern talk, I asked, “Does that mean all the way?”  They answered, “Yes.” 

The train was slow-moving and, while gazing out the window, I saw blue bonnets.  After three days and nights, I arrived in Austin.  I got a room at a boarding house on 1205 Nueces Street.  The landlady, whose name was Mabel Huckabee, was very nice.  She later got me a job at Steck Publishing Company.  I liked Austin, Texas a lot."

Written by Deanie Rhone, April 27, 2011 

Nana was 19 years old at the time of her train trip. Her first time out of Pennsylvania. I can't imagine the courage it took for her to ride that train, all alone with only $30. Although not in the above story, Nana has told us she had to stay overnight in Oklahoma before taking her final train to Austin. Thanks to a kind employee at the train station, she didn't have to spend the night alone in the station. He got her a place to stay and made sure she got on the train in the morning to finish her journey to Austin. That last leg is when she saw the Texas Blue Bonnets that became her favorite flower then and remains so today.

Nana: The Girl on the Train. Her story might not be a bestselling book or a blockbuster movie, but Nana was no less brave than the fictional Rachel. Her real-life drama played out in war time with no clue how her story would end. But, lucky for us, Nana was the girl on the train whose story lives on in her even today.  

Nana in Austin, Texas 1943

 

Nana Turns 93

September 15, 2016. Nana's 93rd birthday. A year before, when she celebrated her 92nd birthday, she was in The Meadows Assisted Living and two weeks from being discharged to go back to living alone in her apartment. Last birthday, it had been over five months since the terrible fall that sent her to the hospital, nursing home and assisted living. A betting person would've never imagined Nana could go home again. But, then, one should never bet against Nana.

It's been a roller coaster year. One that saw a few more falls - no more broken bones thankfully. But the fall in May this year put her in the hospital/nursing home for over a month. (See my blog post from June 2016.) I'll never forget the social worker looking for a vacancy in a nursing home, while Sharon and Cindy, her caregiver, and I fought to get Nana back into her cozy apartment. When she finally got released to go home, she was so weak. But who wouldn't be? Nana was only out of bed for about an hour a day for therapy.

Could she be on her own again? I admit, I wasn't sure. But, what I was sure about was, more than anything, I wanted her to be home. And Sharon wanted her home and Cindy wanted her home and her caring neighbors at Houston Ridge wanted her home. Most of all, Nana wanted to be home. And when Nana wants something, she's determined to get it.

Slowly she got stronger. Stronger with Sharon's frequent visits, regular pill preparation and lots of KFC meals. Stronger with Cindy's daily help with pills and meals and baths and hair setting. Stronger with my monthly visits of four days of TLC. Stronger with deviled eggs delivery from Wayne and Sharon and occasional Sunday meal deliveries from Bill and Marcia. Stronger with the "juice boxes" regularly ordered by Lori.   

I remember in the summer when she wanted to go, by herself, to the gazebo in Houston Ridge to sit with her neighbors and visit. "Out of the question," I thought to myself. "She's not strong enough to do that."  How would she get out the door by herself with her downstairs walker? How would she walk there without taking a rest?  How would she sit on a bench or chair without a cushion?

To my surprise, Nana figured it out. She got out the door by herself. She pushed herself to walk the distance, stopping when she needed to rest. Her kind neighbors lent her cushions and gave her the most comfortable chair. And when she was ready to go back to her apartment, Chuck or John or Bud or any other neighbor there walked her back and helped her in the door. And everyday she walked there, she got stronger from the exercise and happier from the good company.

September 15, 2016. Nana's 93rd birthday. Lots of reasons to celebrate. Nana's home and she's stronger than she's been in a long time. She seems happy most of the time, especially when she gets to go to Wendy's. Most important, she's surrounded by all of us who love and cherish her as we look forward to celebrating her 94th birthday next September.

Nana 93rd Birthday September 2016

Nana in Gazebo Summer 2016