Nana Lights the Advent Wreath Candle

Sharon is in charge of The Advent Wreath program at St John's United Methodist Church where Nana is a member.  Before her last fall, Sharon had asked Nana if she would go up to the front of the church with her on December 2nd,  the first Sunday of Advent  and together they could light the first candle on the Advent Wreath.  Surprisingly, Nana not only said yes, but was very excited about doing it.  When Nana fell on the Thursday before that Sunday, Sharon thought Nana would change her mind about going.  However, by Friday, Nana decided she was recovered enough to still go to church and participate in the program.

 Following is Sharon's account that I received via text message:
Nana had a big day at church.  She was welcomed by many people and she gave Pastor Mike her latest story that she wrote.  We sat with Gracie and Gracie held the hymn book with her.  I asked Pastor Mike for the paper to read while lighting the candle.  He brought it over and I immediately went to work assigning Nana the middle part to read and told her to read slowly and loudly.  We went over it a couple of quick times in our seat.  We thought it would be after the collection, but he had no sooner said "Good Morning" from the pulpit and then he announced the lighting of the advent candle.  We were surprised but took the paper and headed up.  Billy went up also and helped Nana get there.  Then he sat down on the front pew and took pictures.  We actually lit the candle together and everyone clapped.  It was really touching.  Nana was so proud.  And, as she walked up, Pastor Mike said to the congregation that Deanie was really nicely dressed in the colors of the advent candles - pink and purple.   (So you did a good job of getting her dressed this morning.)

 That whole thing made it worth while for me to have that position for a few years even though it is a pain.  And as he announced who was lighting the candle , he said, "and Deanie is fortunate to be here because she had a bad fall this week and is badly bruised." She got lots of much deserved attention.  Also this would be great on your Nana blog.  I told the people today that Nana has gone to this church since she was a little girl and just wanted to light the Advent Candle once.  Actually, you know, she was born right near the church in the log cabin that was in Tenner Moore's front yard.  I am sure she would have walked to Sunday School. To actually light the candle, I lit the match and wrapped my hand around hers, with the match in her and my fingers.  Of course, right up front she said, "Oh, you are going to burn my finger."  I said, "No, I am not."  But then it did not light at first, so it really did come close to burning both our fingers as I held it long enought to get the flame.  After church I made a fast trip to Wendy's on the way home.  We ate hamburgers in the car and when I got her home I fixed the baked potato and coffee for her on her table at home.  I put 2 Frosties in the freezer, but I'm sure they will not be there long.

I think Sharon's text describes the events perfectly.  I'm really proud of Nana for having the courage to go in front of the church and read and be part of the program.  Sharon has asked a number of people from the church to do the reading and light the Advent Candle for the other weeks, and many people turn her down saying, "Oh, I don't like to get up in front of people."  After seeing Nana, 89 years old,  bruised and making an effort to walk, I don't think as many people will say "No" to Sharon now.

Thanks Sharon - it was a good day for Nana and we are grateful for every good day.

      Church Bulletin from Nana's Advent Wreath Sunday, December 2, 2012

 

 

Another Fall

On Friday morning, November 29th I got a call from Sharon that Nana had fallen again.  She pushed her Lifeline button - thank goodness!  The ambulance was called and Lifeline called Sharon.  When Sharon called me it was before 8am.  I always call Nana about 7:55am each morning so when I saw Sharon's phone id, my heart sank.  Sharon went to the Emergency Room and sat with Nana while they did Xrays and tests and scans. 

While Sharon waited, I packed and started the six hour plus drive to PA.  I didn't know if anything was broken - could we dodge the bullet two times?  But I knew that no matter what, Nana would need some help and she likes "her girls" close in times of crisis. 

The results took hours and it wasn't until after 1pm that Sharon got the word that there was no fractures.  Another miracle!  Again I thank God and her daily routine of Shaklee and her meds. She was allowed to leave the hospital when she was able to take a walker about 30 feet down the hall.  Nana was ready to go home.  In fact, before the test results were in, she had already gotten tired of waiting.  She sat on the edge of her bed and said, "I'm leaving."  Patience is not one of her virtues.  When it was time for the walker test, Nana practically ran down the hall with that walker.  She had not been allowed any food or drink in case there was a fracture and surgery was needed.  Now she was hungry.  All she had on was her nightgown, so Sharon got a coat from the car and off they went to Wendy's for a hamburger.  Since Nana couldn't go in, Sharon prepared their "car picnic" and Nana devoured her meal.  Nana doesn't eat much, but she needs to eat often and when she is hungry, don't get in her way!  Thank you, thank you Sharon for all you did that day. 

Nana has some good neighbors who helped us that day.  Chuck heard the ambulance call on the scanner and called up to her.  Because he didn't know if she was dresssed, he sent another neighbor, Fay up to check on her.  Fay put a pillow under her head and helped her put her teeth in before the ambulance arrived.  We're so grateful for both of them helping. 

Wayne checked on her apartment after the ambulance left and it was so good to have him there.  Jeff  came on his lunch to talk to Nana at the ER and be with Sharon for a while.  Nana truly has a lot of people who care about her.

Nana fell hard on her butt, which is all black and blue.  She hit her head and cut her elbow.  It could have been much worse and I'm so glad we had the Lifeline button for her to push.  I hope there are no more falls but it's good to know the system works.

None of us know when it will be our last day, but at 89 years old, Nana is aware that this is her twilight.  Events like this fall remind me that every phone call, every visit and every holiday with Nana is precious and I treasure them. 

Nana's Thanksgiving 2012

This year Lori wanted to make a new tradition for Thanksgiving by going to Fry Brothers Turkey Ranch for Thanksgiving Day, hoping that Nana would enjoy going out and being with the boys.  Where better for a Thanksgiving dinner than a turkey ranch?  I was excited about the idea because Jan and I decided to make a trip to PA so we could be part of the new tradition.
 
I admit to being a little apprehensive about Nana in that situation.  It was a new restaurant to her and it was a longer drive than hopping up to May's Diner each morning.  But May's is not open on Thanksgiving Day and I know Nana wanted to please Lori.  Since Lori had been planning this since the summer, Nana had lots of time to prepare.  She had a great idea - she would get  Christmas gifts for the boys and give to them at the restaurant to help keep them occupied.  In Sepember, we shopped for just the right gift.  She wanted them to have small cars as she knows Ollie and Sidney love anything with wheels.  Plus, she insisted they be almost alike because her thought was that they might fight if they were different.  This insight came from raising four of her own kids, who fought, and helping to raise Lori and Jeff, who also fought.  I knew she was right.  She chose 2 packs of miniature cars. I wrapped them for her and now she was ready.

On Thanksgiving Day, Jan and I drove Nana to the restaurant.  After we crossed the mountain and headed up Rt. 15 north of Williamsport, she was in new territory.  That stretch of highway is wooded with the road sliced into the mountains. A month earlier, the scenery would have been awash with reds and yellows and oranges from the fall leaves.  On this trip, the trees were bare, but Nana was still in awe of the drive.

When we reached the restaurant, the parking lot was packed.  Thankfully, Jan found a parking spot close to the door.   Because we had reservations we were seated immediately - good for Nana who can't stand for very long, plus she was still hurting some from her fall.  Next challenge was what would Nana order to eat?  She settled on a hamburg, coffee and banana cream pie for dessert.  After we ordered, Nana gave the boys their cars.  What a hit!  They loved them and ran them on the table and also entertained the diners behind us, running them across the ledge while wearing the turkey hats Lori had made them. So cute.
 
There were ten of us - Sharon and Ron, Jeff, Lori and Nate, Ollie and Sid, Nana and Jan and I.  The food was good and lots of it.  Nana's hamburg was too hard for her to eat so she had a half a roll, coffee and the banana cream pie, which was her favorite. The boys loved the rainbow sherbert but were more interested in playing with their cars from Nana.  Nana was so happy watching them enjoy her gift.

When we left the restaurant, Nana again remarked on the drive through the mountains.  Who knew that would be one of the top attractions of this day for her?  It's a good new tradition and I hope we can all go again next year. 

The next day all of us, except Ron, met again at Nana's favorite hangout - May's Diner.  More fun with Ollie and Sid and their cars and trucks.  Thanks Lori for making all this happen.  Looking forward to next Thanksgiving!

Nana and Lori at Fry's Turkey Ranch Nov 2012

 

 

Ollie and Sid wearing turkey hats and

playing with Nana's gift of cars at

Fry's Turkey Ranch Nov 2012

 

 

Nana and Lori with Ollie and Sid at May's Diner

November 2012

 

 

The Fall

On Friday night, October 26, 2012, Nana took a nasty fall.  According to what she can remember, it was after she watched the 10 o'clock news - a must on Nana's to-do list.  When she got up from her chair, she felt dizzy and started to fall.  She remembers grabbing for her walker that sits to the right of her TV.  The wheels on her walker - which only serves as a hanger for her sweaters - must have rolled and the rest of her fall is a mystery.  What we do know is that her TV, one of the old "weighs a ton" kind, crashed to the floor with her.
 
She told me that she thinks she blacked out briefly and then called for help.  No one could hear her as her closest neighbor, 98 year-old Hazel, lives below her and she was in the hospital.  Fortunately, Nana was able to get herself to her footstool and use her portable phone.  She called Sharon and she and Jeff drove to Nana's house immediately. When she told Sharon she fell, Sharon asked her, "Nana, what's broken?"  In true Nana fashion, she said, "My TV."  Never mind that she had a bleeding abrasion on her arm, a big lump on her forehead with two more lumps on the back of her head.  Her chest had a painful bruise and her hip hurt so badly she could barely move.  But she was worried about her TV!

Sharon and Jeff called the ambulance and told her not to move.  When they called me, I started packing.  Sharon and Jeff were with Nana in the Emergency Room till the wee hours of the morning. I'm so grateful they were there.  The doctors did lots of tests and scans on Nana and to every one's amazement, there were no fractures.  Everyone taking care of her was totally amazed at her good blood results, strong heart and lungs and small amount of regular prescriptions medications.  However, because she's 89 years old and had head injuries, the doctor felt it was best to keep her in the hospital for observation. 

I arrived at the hospital on Saturday about 2pm to find that the doctor felt another day was best for observation.  Sharon and I used that time to shop for a modern, lighter TV.  I spent Saturday night repairing her TV stand and hooking up the new TV.  Nana without cable TV is not a good thing.

I brought Nana home on Sunday.  She was in a lot of pain, especially her chest. Her major complaint was "I just don't feel well."  I kept my keys close in case we needed to make another trip to the Emergency Room.

Monday morning Nana felt  better but the weather was very sick.  Hurricane Sandy was blowing in and Nana had a doctor's appointment.  Sharon is braver than me and offered to drive all of us to Dr. Wiegand's office in her mini-van.  We left early because Nana wanted us to buy her donuts at Dunkin Donuts.  That was a clue she was feeling better.  The doctor gave her a clean bill of health and told her that her chest bruising would take a long time to heal so she would need to  be patient - not really a Nana trait. 

Sharon delivered us home safely and we hunkered down to brave the storm.  Nana slept well, but as the wind howled at 60mph,  I fretted about what I would do if the electricity failed.  The power blinked on and off a few times, but thankfully we still had heat and lights the next morning, although no cable TV until about noon.  No Price is Right for Nana that day but it was back on for the noon news.  She was happy. 

After the storm, I contacted Lifeline and now Nana  has a lovely string necklace with a button to push for help if she falls again.  That gives all of us who love her some peace of mind. It gives Nana the independence she treasures so she can stay in her own home.

I went home on Thursday and by Friday morning, only a week after her fall, Nana drove to May's Diner for her daily pancake breakfast. No fall was going to keep her down!

 

                                       Nana ready to leave the hospital on Sunday, October 28, 2012

The Tilburg Kids

With the passing of Uncle John this summer, Nana and Uncle Ben are the only two left out of the five Tilburg children of Benjamin and Pearl Tilburg.  I came across a picture that was taken in May 1983 at my house when I lived in Montgomery RD.  I remember doing a Tilburg family dinner once a year and this was one of those times.  It's hard to realize that Nana was only 60 - 2 years younger than I am now! She looked quite happy standing next to her big brother John.

By 1983, Auntie and Aunt Grace were both widows as Uncle Lukie and Uncle Tom had both passed away.  Aunt Grace was smiling and looked the way I like to remember her before she succumbed to Alzheimer's and went to Valley View Nursing Home.  Auntie looked so sweet in her prim and proper way.   Her real name was Elizabeth, but I always called her Auntie and Nana called her Lib.  Uncle Ben was the baby of the family and I remember he always enjoyed these dinners and the leftovers I sent home with him.

When I took that picture in 1983, I didn't realize the importance of having all the Tilburg kids together in a picture.  Today, I know it's priceless.

 

The Tilburg Kids

Ben, Elizabeth (Auntie), Grace, John and Deanie

May 1983

Celebrating 89 years young!

I was honored to spend time with Nana during her birthday celebrations.  Nana is not a fan of big parties.  I threw her a big party on her 75th birthday and she was not thrilled. I learned from my mistake and try now to make her birthdays about things that she loves, not what I think she should want. 

Speaking of that, several years ago I got her a beautiful decorated white cake.  After I took her picture with that cake, she totally ignored it.  Now I've learned that she likes the cupcakes I buy here in Virginia at our Martin's grocery store.  They are white cake with creamy white frosting.  Sounds similar to the white cake, right?  But, she likes the cupcakes and didn't like the cake.  So for celebrating her birthday, cupcakes it is. 

 

 

Nana's menu is very limited but she enjoys the fish sandwich at The Fence so that is where I chose to take her for her birthday dinner.  Although they have rows of picnic tables lining the view of the Susquehanna River, Nana is not an outside kind of gal.  We went on Friday September 14th, the day before her birthday.  It was so much fun to watch Nana enjoy her fish sandwich - tartar sauce on the side - with her coffee with lots of cream.  The Fence closes in October so that was our last time there this season.  I don't know if it was the birthday or the fact that it was our last fish there till spring, but Nana and I both agreed that the fish tasted better than it had all summer.  The sweet girl who waited on us was kind enough to take our picture.

 

 

 

I told Nana that she gets to celebrate longer as she gets older, so on Saturday, September 15th, when she turned 89 years old, we went to her favorite place - Mays Restaurant.  Sharon was able to join us so that make the breakfast extra special for Nana and I.  It was a crowded morning at Mays and there were lots of people in line waiting for tables.  I got Nana a chair to sit while we waited, but one of the kind waitresses cleared a recently vacated table and moved Nana to the table - no more waiting!  That was a nice birthday gift.  Then she enjoyed her small pancake - specially made by Steve, the cook - her piping hot pot of coffe with lots of creams, and multiple packets of Smuckers Strawberry Jelly, her favorite.  She was greeted with birthday wishes by all the staff and other diners, even a lady behind us who had never met Nana before.

 

In addition, Nana received lots of gifts and visits and phone calls from family and friends with birthday wishes.  She had a wonderful birthday.  I'm already thinking about a plan for her 90th birthday next year.....









50 Years Ago Today

Nana just called to tell me that 50 years ago today, her mother died.  Grandma Tilburg died on August 28, 1962.  She died of pernicious anemia and she was 71 years old.  I was only 12 years old when she died and I thought Grandma Tilburg was very old - now I don't think 71 is old at all.  For many years before her death, she was bedridden.  With her gray hair wrapped into a bun and her frail body draped in folds of her cotton nightgowns, she looked tiny and pale, propped up by pillows in the big double bed.

Nana has already lived almost eighteen years longer than her mother.  Today when she was talking about the pain in her toes from neuropathy, she said, "It's not easy getting old.  These are not golden years."  I'm not dismissing her pain as I'm sure that's hard to endure.  But I reminded her how most seniors who are almost 89 years old would be happy to have her life of relative independence.  She admitted that was true. 

Nana was only 39 years old when she lost her mom. I feel very fortunate to be 62 years old and still have the luxury of talking to my mom everyday and seeing her often.