Lori's Nana Visit - A Home Run!

"The triumph of hope over experience." That accurately sums up Lori's recent visit with Nana.

Nana pandemic visits hadn't been too successful. After my visit  (see last post) and 2 not-so-great Cindy visits with Nana, I wasn't sure how Lori's July 2020 visit would turn out. But Lori was able to accomplish a 'home run' with a Nana outside, social distance visit. 

Lori was prepared. She had shirts with Nana on them for Ollie and Sid to wear, knowing that sight was the only communication. The boys had 'dance ribbons' and bubbles and their normal exuberance ready to entertain Nana. And entertain they did. Nana's smiles were proof of that. 
 

Lori and Sharon and Ollie and Sid

Ollie and Nana and Sharon and Sid

Sharon also joined the group and I'm sure Nana was happy to see her in person, albeit separated by a plexiglass booth. Sharon hadn't seen Nana since early March, just before the quarantine was put in place. 
 

Nana and Sharon

The staff gave Lori a clip board with paper and pen to help communicate with Nana. That gave Lori the idea that a dry erase board would be a good tool on the next visit. 

With the success of Lori's visit, I'm going to try again. We've scheduled a visit for Friday, August 14th. I don't have any lively young boys or dance ribbons or bubbles. I am bringing a dry erase board and lots of hope while crossing my fingers for a good experience. 

Connecting with Nana during a Pandemic

In March, we thought it would last a few weeks, like the time we couldn't visit Nana because there was a flu outbreak in the nursing home last year. But this time was different. Weeks turned into  months and now it's been 5 months since I've seen Nana in person in her room. I have seen Nana but it's not the same.

I give the Watsontown Nursing and Rehab facility credit for doing their best to keep residents connected with their families. In June, they created an outside booth with plexiglass so families could see their loved ones at a distance. When they announced this option, I jumped at the chance to see Nana in the flesh. Time slots were limited and the only appointment we could get was Saturday, June 13th at 1:30pm for a 20 minute visit. We drove 8 and a half hours on Friday and waited nervously for the appointment.

When the volunteer wheeled Nana out the door, it was so good to actually see her. I had prepared myself for her wild hair style as the hairdresser hasn't been allowed in the facility for months. I wasn't prepared for how tired and exhausted she looked. Communicating through a plexiglass booth - that Jan accurately dubbed the 'Pope Mobile' - while wearing masks made normal conversation impossible.  Even if Nana had good hearing - which she doesn't - it would've been a challenge. 

We were fortunate to have Brenda as our kind and patient volunteer. She first asked Nana if she knew who we were. It took her a minute but she did say, 'Diane and Jan.' That was a relief. To be fair, with our masks we probably looked more like bank robbers than our normal selves. 

Nana was truly exhausted. Her eyes kept closing and her head drooped as she struggled to stay awake. She did complain several times about  it being windy. Nana hates wind. (We anticipated that reaction when we'd seen the weather.) She was distracted by the cars driving by on Eighth Street. She thought they were from Pumpkin Center, the housing unit across from Houston Ridge apartments in Montgomery where she used to live. 

The best reaction we saw from her was when I held up the huge jar of M & M's we brought for her.  It was truly the only smile of the visit. She joked about how we should count how many M & M's were in the jar. That gave us some smiles!

But after that, she seemed agitated and fatigued. Our 20 minute visit was barely 15 minutes. Am I sorry we drove over 16 hours for a 15 minute visit? No, I'm not. Maybe I needed the visit for me more than for her. There's nothing like seeing her right in front of me. The difficult part was having her so close and not being able to hug and kiss her. Not being able to stroke her arm and speak close to her ear so she can hear me say, 'I love you.' 

 

Nana & Brenda the Volunteer

June 2020

  Nana seeing the big jar of M&M's 

 

Since that visit, I've been doing more Zoom meetings with her. It took several tries to know the best way to communicate is to have Nana on her volume boosted phone while I talk to her on my cell phone. (She can't hear me at all on the I-Pad volume.) I do get more smiles from her during our Zoom calls and there's the added bonus of having the Activities helper check to make sure she has M&M's, KitKats, Sprite and Weis Tissues. 

Nana and I on Zoom July 2020

When we're not Zooming together, I call Nana every day. The hearing in her left ear is almost non-existent, so I have to have her 'switch ears' so she can hear me better. Some days are better than others. Some days she doesn't want to talk. Some days she sings to me. Some days she reads the paper to me. Some days her answers indicate she still doesn't hear what I say. I always ask her how she feels and she normally says , "OK, just lazy." I always tell her it's ok to be lazy at 96, almost 97. She always asks me what I'm doing. I usually check her daily weather for her while we're on the phone. Then we have the conversation about Mother Nature being in charge. As Nana says, "Mother Nature is the boss!" When I tell her I love her, she always says she loves me too and that I'm such a good girl. My heart melts. 

Fortunately, as of now, Watsontown Nursing Home doesn't have any cases of the Covid-19 virus. I pray it stays that way. As much as I want to see and talk to Nana in person, I don't want her to get this horrible virus. She deserves to be safe and comfortable and 'lazy.' Until the danger is over, I'll keep Zooming and calling and doing whatever it takes to stay connected with Nana.

 

Staying Together While Apart

Who knew when Jan and I visited Nana in February that we wouldn't see her again for a visit in March - or April - or May ? The 'No Visitors' order was announced just before we were to make our March visit on Friday, the 13th. (Fitting somehow...) When I talked to the Social Worker at Watsontown, she said she'd made an exception for me. She would allow me to visit in an isolated area with Nana on Saturday morning. However, I got a call on Friday when we were half way through Ohio. No exceptions. No Nana visit. 

We dropped off Nana's gigantic jar of M&M's to the receptionist and headed to our non-refundable hotel room for the night. The hardest part was explaining to Nana on Saturday morning why we couldn't visit after all. Even after that dreaded phone call, the pit in my stomach wouldn't go away. Not through Pennsylvania, Ohio or Indiana. But, at that point, I had no clue of the length and depth of this virus that sounded like a Mexican beer. Surely, the nursing home was just being extremely cautious. 

A few days later, when restaurants and schools started to close here in Indiana, I had my first inkling that this thing was serious. When the news kept warning about the 'vulnerable population', I thought of people like Nana - in their 90's and in a nursing home. Except then I heard they also meant those over 65 were at higher risk. That's me. Was it even safe to go to my hair appointment? No worries on making that decision - my hair salon was forced to close too. 

My only link to Nana was our daily phone calls, a normal routine for us. But part of that routine was also Nana asking me when I was coming to visit. Usually, on each call, I could give her a date on the calendar. Now, I can't. 

Like most of us, Nana handles it better some days than others. She's comforted by the fact that she's safe and that her family is safe. We often talk about facing it 'one day at a time.' Other days, she doesn't understand and she cries. When we hang up, I cry too. 

Although none of us deserve a pandemic, Nana shouldn't have to endure this. A childhood with a drunken and abusive father and an invalid mother. Living through World War II. A marriage that started with so much promise and turned into years of struggle. Long days working in a factory for a cold, over-bearing boss. Financial worries that followed her into her retirement years.

But Nana is a fighter. Through it all, she raised four pretty decent kids and helped raise two of her grandchildren. Her feisty independence served her well. She was driving until after the age of 90 and lived in her cozy apartment until her legs forced her into a wheel chair and to the Watsontown Nursing Center almost 2 years ago. 

As most things in life, there's always some blessings if we look for them. Like the day, unprompted, Nana said how grateful she is to have a warm place to live and food to eat, especially her candy! I told her how thankful I am that I can talk to her on the phone everyday, even when I can't visit in person.

The nursing home is now providing an iPad so residents can do Facetime and Zoom with their loved ones. Nana and I have done a number of  Zooms together. She has trouble hearing on the iPad but we've found using her phone to talk while we see each other on the screen solved the problem. Seeing her face, watching her smile, making her laugh and hearing her say, "You're a good girl,"  is the next best thing to being there with her. 

On one of our recent Zoom calls, Nana was having so much trouble hearing me. I told her I hoped we'd be able to be together in person again soon. All she could hear me say was 'together again.' Nana broke into song, singing "Together Again." I didn't recognize the song but she knew all the words to several verses. I listened in awe as this amazing woman who's been through so much trial and heartache lifted me with her sweet voice.

Who knew that, even in a pandemic, Nana would show us how to survive?

Nana and Diane February 2020

 

 

Nana Christmas 2019

Mother Nature was kind to us this year and Jan and I were able to visit Pennsylvania and spend Christmas Day with Nana. Thanks  to Nancy, the receptionist, we made plans to have Christmas Day lunch with Nana privately at the Watsontown Nursing Home. 

We arrived Christmas Eve and gave Nana her gifts. She was most excited about her Texas Wildflowers Calendar. What fun we had going through each month, oohing and ahhing the beautiful, vibrant wildflower pictures! Then we talked about whose birthday was on each of those months.  

Nana with her Texas Wildflowers Calendar

The gift of new purple sweatsuits was not as exciting, but Nana looks beautiful in that color, as you can see by the pictures. With her perfectly coiffed white hair, she's a lovely lady at 96!

Nana with her Christmas gift of purple sweats

During our visit on Christmas Eve, Kristin from the Activities Department came bearing gifts for Nana and Ruth. Kristin was decked out in her Holiday attire - an opportune time for a photo.
We left Nana on Christmas Eve with our promise to be back the next day, Christmas. 

Kristin from Activities and Nana Christmas Eve

On our way to visit my son Tim and family, we stopped to see Uncle Ben. Uncle Ben is also in a nursing home, Arista Care at Loyalsock. Uncle Ben is the baby of the family at 89 and Nana's only living sibling. Uncle Ben appreciated our gift of chocolate candy and homemade cookies, but wanted to know how Nana is doing. I showed him our pictures so he could see that she's doing well. 

Uncle Ben Christmas Eve 2019

Christmas Day, Nana was in Christmas red as we arrived for our lunch together. We were in the Activities room with our delicious meal of potatoes - ours were scalloped, Nana's were mashed - baked ham and corn. We soon found out that Nana preferred my scalloped potatoes to her mashed ones so that's what she ate. But, for Nana, the hot food was just an preamble to the cherry pie. Although Nana has false teeth, I think she still has her 'sweet tooth' tucked away somewhere. We soon found out that the skins on the cherries didn't work for her, but the syrupy cherry gel and tender crust were a hit! Along with the fountain Sprite we brought her, I'd say the pie was the highlight of our meal. 

Nana and Diane Christmas lunch 2019

After lunch, we made sure Nana was comfortably resting with her newspaper. As we headed home for Indiana, we thanked Mother Nature that we were blessed  to share a delightful Christmas 2019 with Nana. 

Nana Celebrates Birthday #96!

September 15, 2019 Nana celebrated her 96th Birthday! We made the celebration last two days because, well, why not? 

In the morning of the day-before-birthday, Lori and Nate and Ollie and Sid made a visit to shower Nana with early birthday wishes and KitKats. They got an amazing picture - look at that beautiful Nana smile!

Nana and Sharon and Lori and Ollie and Sid

When we arrived Saturday, Nana looked so pretty in her blue sweatshirt top. She looks way younger than her 96 years. 
We started the visit with birthday cupcakes I had special ordered from Walmart. We propped her '96' candles for the pictures. (By the time you're 96, you don't have to blow out candles anymore.)  

Nana and her 96th Candles

Sharon and Jan and I gave Nana a new, cozy blue comforter for her bed. She'll be warm this winter! Gifts also included her KitKats and Reese's Peanut Butter Cups and M&M's for snacks.

Saturday, in addition to Jan and I, Sharon and Bill and Cindy all came for a day-before-birthday visit. 

Nana and Diane and Jan

Nana and Bill and Diane and Sharon

Nana and Cindy

On the day of her actual birthday, we arrived early and met Nana at breakfast. On the way back to her room, we saw Rebecca, Nana's nurse and she gave Nana a big hug and said, "Happy Birthday Deanie." Next she received a Happy Birthday balloon from the nursing home to put on her wheel chair. She was a celebrity for the day.

Nana and her nurse Rebecca

Later that day, after we'd left, she got more visitors. Wayne and Missi and Mark and Megan came and later Sharon was there again. That evening, Jeff surprised Nana with a visit. 

Nana and Sharon and Jeff

Nana and Wayne

Megan and Missi and Mark

Nana and Wayne

Nana's 96th Birthday was a huge success. Nana and I agreed she's on her way to triple digits - 100!

Nana Update June 2019

Although it's hard to believe, Nana has been in Watsontown Nursing and Rehab for almost a year. It's been harder for me to write the Nana Blogs for a while. I was still feeling sad that Nana had to go to a nursing home, but I'm finally at peace that Nana is in the best place for her care. For a long time we were vague when talking to her about her apartment, but I finally told her we had to give it up but Sharon and I have all her stuff. She was upset but seems to forget I told her because she does occasionally ask Sharon about going home and worrying about the rent. We just tell her everything is fine and change the subject.

I talk to Nana every morning and, on most days, she's in good spirits. Jan and I visit in person every 4-6 weeks. She enjoys our visits and likes the treats we bring - KitKats, M&M's and Frosted Sugar Cookies. In addition to our visits, Sharon visits or calls most days, Bill stops in to see her, and Missi comes also. Missi even brought Wayne one time. Lori and Nate and Ollie and Sid visit as often as they can and she really loves seeing them. Plus, Lori calls and chats with Nana frequently. People from the church bring Nana church bulletins and cookies. In addition to family and church, we have Nana's care-giver Cindy check on her almost every day. Cindy is a treasure and we consider her one of the family. She loves and knows Nana so well and also understands nursing homes so her help and insight is invaluable. Nana's fortunate as there's a lot of residents there who don't get many visitors.

Nana loves her daily newspapers. We subscribe to the Sun Gazette, the Standard Journal and The Luminary for her. Nana is a thorough reader of news and that's the highlight of her day. She also gets Country Magazine and the Readers Digest. I'm so grateful that she can still read and enjoys it so much. She does still watch her game shows but doesn't seem as laser focused on them as when she was in her apartment.

Nana has some dementia so sometimes she harkens back to things she's done in the past, like going to the Weis store, as if they were in the present. As long as she's happy, it's not important to correct her memory.

As I mentioned in my previous post, Nana has a sweet roommate named Ruth. It was a bit rocky at first for Nana to accept someone in her room, but now I think she enjoys the company. Although neither of them hear very well, they still manage to communicate. Ruth gets the Daily Item every day and also loves to read books. She doesn't have a TV and it doesn't seem to bother her, although she can see Nana's when it's on. Nana always wants us to share her treats with 'her roommate' and we bring Ruth treats and books when we visit. I'm grateful for Ruth, not only because she's such a nice lady, but because she walks. When Nana can't reach the phone, she gives it to her. I don't know if she hears the ringer or if she sees the red light, but it helps me so I can talk to Nana everyday. 

Nana doesn't walk or use her walker, but she propels herself with her feet in her wheelchair. I can't believe how fast she goes down the hall! It's good exercise and the staff encourages her to go on her own. Most days, she goes upstairs to the Main Dining Room for her meals. That means going down the hall, on the elevator, and down another hall. I have noticed she's not too patient with any slow pokes in her way!

This spring, Nana was sick with a respiratory infection, had to be isolated and was on strong medications for 10 days. She didn't do well and I was afraid she couldn't survive it, especially since the nursing home lost a number of residents during that time to illness. But she's tough and fought her way back to health. Now, in two and a half months, Nana will turn 96! She's truly amazing!

During our last visit together, Nana looked at the Classified Section of the newspaper and said, "I don't need a job." I replied, "You're right, Nana, you've worked hard enough in your life." Her response was, "My job everyday now is to stay alive."
The coolest thing is that she didn't say it in a morbid way, just a matter-of-fact statement - a task she has to do.

Yes, Nana, we want you to stay alive and be happy and healthy every day that we are blessed to have you with us!. 

Nana with Pip the Beach Cat June 15, 2019

Nana with her newspaper June 16, 2019

 





 

Nana Celebrates Birthday #95

Nana celebrated her 95th birthday on September 15th,2018. This year she couldn't celebrate at home. In July, Nana moved into Watsontown Nursing & Rehab Center. Nana's little legs no longer have the strength for her to use the walker. Plus, she needed more care than she could receive in her Houston Ridge Apartment, a place she'd called home for 25 years. 

Change is never easy and the first few weeks at the nursing home were difficult. Things are better now and Nana has her good days and bad days. Nana has faced a lot of hardships in her life so I know she'll adjust. She's one of the strongest people I know and I'm so proud of her.

Nana has a roommate, Ruth, who is a kind lady. We thought Nana's hearing was poor, but Ruth can hardly hear unless you speak directly into her ear. That's a plus in a way, as Nana likes to play her TV loud. Ruth doesn't have a TV and fills her time with mystery novels and puzzle books while Nana's favorite past-time is still reading the Sun Gazette.

Although we as a family would love her to be in her home, it's comforting to know that she's safe and has lots of 'eyes' on her. Like at home, her meals are a challenge. The Nursing Home has accommodated with mashed potatoes and gravy each meal and  provides her 'juice boxes' - her Boost Breeze supplement drink -  for her each day. 

Each year Nana's birthday is a reminder of how blessed we are to still have her in our lives. During one of my monthly visits to Nana when she was in her apartment, we would read the quotes on the daily calendar at breakfast. One of our favorites was the saying,"If you're not dead yet, you're not done yet." Nana and I had a giggle about that one. Whenever Nana says she's not having anymore birthdays - as she often does every September - I remind her about that quote.

As we celebrate another Nana birthday, I'm glad she's not done yet.