The Tilburg Kids

With the passing of Uncle John this summer, Nana and Uncle Ben are the only two left out of the five Tilburg children of Benjamin and Pearl Tilburg.  I came across a picture that was taken in May 1983 at my house when I lived in Montgomery RD.  I remember doing a Tilburg family dinner once a year and this was one of those times.  It's hard to realize that Nana was only 60 - 2 years younger than I am now! She looked quite happy standing next to her big brother John.

By 1983, Auntie and Aunt Grace were both widows as Uncle Lukie and Uncle Tom had both passed away.  Aunt Grace was smiling and looked the way I like to remember her before she succumbed to Alzheimer's and went to Valley View Nursing Home.  Auntie looked so sweet in her prim and proper way.   Her real name was Elizabeth, but I always called her Auntie and Nana called her Lib.  Uncle Ben was the baby of the family and I remember he always enjoyed these dinners and the leftovers I sent home with him.

When I took that picture in 1983, I didn't realize the importance of having all the Tilburg kids together in a picture.  Today, I know it's priceless.

 

The Tilburg Kids

Ben, Elizabeth (Auntie), Grace, John and Deanie

May 1983

Celebrating 89 years young!

I was honored to spend time with Nana during her birthday celebrations.  Nana is not a fan of big parties.  I threw her a big party on her 75th birthday and she was not thrilled. I learned from my mistake and try now to make her birthdays about things that she loves, not what I think she should want. 

Speaking of that, several years ago I got her a beautiful decorated white cake.  After I took her picture with that cake, she totally ignored it.  Now I've learned that she likes the cupcakes I buy here in Virginia at our Martin's grocery store.  They are white cake with creamy white frosting.  Sounds similar to the white cake, right?  But, she likes the cupcakes and didn't like the cake.  So for celebrating her birthday, cupcakes it is. 

 

 

Nana's menu is very limited but she enjoys the fish sandwich at The Fence so that is where I chose to take her for her birthday dinner.  Although they have rows of picnic tables lining the view of the Susquehanna River, Nana is not an outside kind of gal.  We went on Friday September 14th, the day before her birthday.  It was so much fun to watch Nana enjoy her fish sandwich - tartar sauce on the side - with her coffee with lots of cream.  The Fence closes in October so that was our last time there this season.  I don't know if it was the birthday or the fact that it was our last fish there till spring, but Nana and I both agreed that the fish tasted better than it had all summer.  The sweet girl who waited on us was kind enough to take our picture.

 

 

 

I told Nana that she gets to celebrate longer as she gets older, so on Saturday, September 15th, when she turned 89 years old, we went to her favorite place - Mays Restaurant.  Sharon was able to join us so that make the breakfast extra special for Nana and I.  It was a crowded morning at Mays and there were lots of people in line waiting for tables.  I got Nana a chair to sit while we waited, but one of the kind waitresses cleared a recently vacated table and moved Nana to the table - no more waiting!  That was a nice birthday gift.  Then she enjoyed her small pancake - specially made by Steve, the cook - her piping hot pot of coffe with lots of creams, and multiple packets of Smuckers Strawberry Jelly, her favorite.  She was greeted with birthday wishes by all the staff and other diners, even a lady behind us who had never met Nana before.

 

In addition, Nana received lots of gifts and visits and phone calls from family and friends with birthday wishes.  She had a wonderful birthday.  I'm already thinking about a plan for her 90th birthday next year.....









50 Years Ago Today

Nana just called to tell me that 50 years ago today, her mother died.  Grandma Tilburg died on August 28, 1962.  She died of pernicious anemia and she was 71 years old.  I was only 12 years old when she died and I thought Grandma Tilburg was very old - now I don't think 71 is old at all.  For many years before her death, she was bedridden.  With her gray hair wrapped into a bun and her frail body draped in folds of her cotton nightgowns, she looked tiny and pale, propped up by pillows in the big double bed.

Nana has already lived almost eighteen years longer than her mother.  Today when she was talking about the pain in her toes from neuropathy, she said, "It's not easy getting old.  These are not golden years."  I'm not dismissing her pain as I'm sure that's hard to endure.  But I reminded her how most seniors who are almost 89 years old would be happy to have her life of relative independence.  She admitted that was true. 

Nana was only 39 years old when she lost her mom. I feel very fortunate to be 62 years old and still have the luxury of talking to my mom everyday and seeing her often.


 

It Takes a Family

Nana is fortunate to have lots of family who care so much for her.  Last week, all four of her kids helped her in some way. 

Wayne stopped in several times to check on her and open any jars or bottles she can't open.  Her hands have become so arthritic that many tasks we take for granted - like buttoning a shirt or writing a check - have become very difficult.

Although Sharon was in Black Lake, she kept in touch with daily phone calls.  Sharon also was with her Sunday evening to fix her pill cases and crush the ones she can't swallow.  Sharon and I devised this system after Nana was ill in 2010.  It works well and Nana is very faithful at taking everything on schedule. 

Bill and Marcia stopped by on Sunday to give Nana the church bulletin and bring some yummy leftovers and dessert from their lunch.  Nana is apprehensive about church because her back has been so painful lately. 

In addition to our daily phone calls, last Friday I talked her through a tornado warning.  She was very frightened and I gave her instructions to get her teeth in, put on her shoes and take her jacket and purse to the bottom of the steps.  We stayed on the phone while I watched WNEP 16 weather live on my computer.  To be safe, we switched to the cell phone when the lightening was so severe.  I breathed a sigh of relief when I knew the danger had passed.  Wayne was in touch with us that night also just in case he needed to go get her.

In addition to her four kids, she is very close to Lori and Jeff, who are more like her kids than her grandchildren.

The night of the tornado, Jeff stopped in and fixed Nana's weather radio and he's always available for a weather update.
 
Lori calls from Delaware often and keeps her supplied with stories and pictures of Ollie and Sidney.  Lori and Nate's visit with the boys in June was such a joy to Nana.

I think Nana is very lucky to have so many people who care about her.  And we are so lucky to still have Nana in our lives! 

Summer of '57

The summer of 1957 was our first summer living in the Staggert place.  We called it the Staggert place because we bought it from the Staggert family.  Us kids were so excited to have a big yard with green grass!  At first, we didn't have an inside toilet, but Daddy installed one soon after we moved in.  That was life changing for us.  No more running outside to the "out house" or using the "pee bucket" in Mommy and Daddy's bedroom. 

This picture of Wayne, Sharon, Bill and I is the only one we have of all of us as children.  I think Wayne's hat may have come from Uncle Harold - Tud as we called him - who was in the Navy.  Sharon's hair was as short as I have ever seen her wear it and Bill to this day still likes to put his hands in his pockets.  I squinted into the sun with the innocent smile of a seven year old.  

Behind us is the door that opened to the stairs into the cellar.  In those days, houses had cellars, not basements.  In the corner of the cellar sat the sump pump, ready to suck out water when spring rains flooded the dirt floor.  Also in the cellar was the gigantic coal furnace and the dusty bins for coal storage.  For many years the cellar was also home to Nana's ancient wringer washer.  I remember catching the smashed clothes that she fed into the wringer that looked like two constantly spinning roller pins.  Nana never had a dryer so after the clothes made several trips through the wringer, she hauled the heavy basket of wet clothes up the rickety wooden steps and out to the backyard clothes lines.

  

Although we were poor, we seemed quite happy in this picture.  I think we were oblivious to all the work Nana did for us.  She washed and ironed our clothes and cooked lots of delicious meals. Later she went to work in a factory to pay the bills.  She sacrificed to make our lives better.  Thank You Nana!

Sharon, Wayne, Diane and Bill in the Summer of 1957

Nana and Peaches

This time of year when peaches are in season, it always reminds me of my memories of Nana and peaches.  I remember living at the Bower place and it was September.  School was already started, but the weather was still warm.  After walking down the long dusty lane from the main road where the school bus dropped us off, Sharon and Wayne and I (Bill was not in school yet) saw Nana sitting on the long porch on the side of the battered house, peeling a gigantic bushel of plump fuzzy peaches. 

Each year, Nana bought a bushel of peaches to put in canning jars for the winter. Money was scarce so each peach was precious.  We begged her for a taste of those sunny yellow juicy pieces of fruit.  I can still taste the slippery flesh of the ripe peach and remember the sticky juice running down my arm.  Come winter, we were grateful for Nana's work at peeling and canning the peaches in quart mason jars. When we ate the preserved fruit swimming in a thick sugary syrup, it was like the pleasure of that September day all over again.



Nana and "Those Boys"

Lori and Nate brought Ollie and Sidney for a Pennsylvania visit last week.  Nana had been waiting for their visit with 2 identical toy trucks for the boys.  She showed them to me months ago and explained, "I had to get them alike or they might fight over them."  She might have been basing that on the years she took care of Lori and her brother Jeff.  I think Nana did some referee time when they were growing up.  Nana tells lots of stories about when Lori and Jeff were little.  This trip she repeated Lori's weather story.  Nana tells it like this...
  "I watched the weather to make sure that it was going to be sunny so I could hang clothes outside on the clothes line.  No sooner did I fill the lines when the sky clouded over and it started to rain.  As I was grumbling about how the weather man was wrong and that I couldn't count on him to tell me the truth, Lori looked at me and said, "Nana, if you want to know about the weather, just look up at the sky."

Nana has told me that story so many times and she chuckles with glee every time.  It must be hard for her to believe that now Lori has children of her own. 

When we got to the hotel where Lori and Nate and the boys were staying, we could hear the noise and chatter even from the hall.  We sat Nana in a chair and Lori brought the boys to talk to Nana.  Sid seemed to be in awe of Nana and kept pointing and saying, "Nana, Nana."  Although Nana was tired from the heat and her toe pain, her eyes lit up every time Sid started his Nana chorus.

When Nana gave the boys their trucks, they were obviously excited.  When all the adults in the room found that we needed a full set of tools and an engineering degree to extract the trucks from the packaging, Sharon and I knew we needed Plan B.

We whisked the trucks away from the tearful boys and - thanks to Sharon's great idea - headed to the Dollar General to return and exchange.  Luckily Jen, the supervisor, took pity on us and allowed an exchange for 2 small dump trucks and a pack of tiny cars.  When Nana gave them the new toys, the boys immediately started playing.  Whew, that saved the day!
 
Breakfast with Lori and Nate and the boys at May's - Nana's every-day pancake spot - brought more fun with Ollie and Sid. After we said our goodbyes, Nana was silent for a while and seemed to be thinking.  Then she shook her head and said, "Those boys."  I said, "Yes, aren't they so cute?"  Nana said, "Yes and they're so good-looking."

Well done, Lori and Nate.  Your visit was a success!

Nana with Sid and Ollie